I know, I know. I swore that I would never re-animate the body of my long deceased wizard mentor, Aborah the Strange, but I had a coupon for Barnes and Nobles and they had this fab magic book that I just had to get!
So, yeah, it was a terrible idea. I mean, my heart was certainly in the right place. I just wanted Aborah to have a little more time on Earth. There were so many things that he (or she, I was never sure) never got to experience. The internet, Cheaper By the Dozen 2, Micro Machines, energy drinks, teenage vampires...
My magical ability has never been very strong. This is no fault of Aborah's, though, as he was a very good teacher. I was just a bad student.
"Make sure you study your magics," he'd say to me.
"Yeah, sure," I'd say. But you better believe that as soon as I got home, I got out my Days of Our Lives action figures and got back to work on re-enacting my favorite scenes.
The spell for re-animation called for a sprig of rosemary. Did I have any rosemary? No. I had some, sure, but I had used it to season my porpoise dinner that I had a few nights earlier. What I needed was a substitution. But what the hell do you substitute for rosemary? I had no clue. All I could think of was that rosemary did look kind of...pine-like? I rushed outside and grabbed a sprig of spruce and rushed back to my cauldron.
Well, sure enough the spell did work. Just not how it should've. Turns out that in the world of spellcasting, there is a HUGE difference between rosemary and spruce. Aborah had returned, but not in his human form, but rather as a magic-using mentally retarded river otter.
Mom, by the way, if you are reading this I'd like to take a moment to explain that this should explain how your antique flower vase got broken.
I battled Aborah-Otter for all of 10 minutes in the living room. It was a disaster. Fireballs, magic missiles, lightning bolts...man, it was intense. But then I just pulled out my trusty six-shooter and shot him. That was it.
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