The Problem with Blogs, Reason #28

This weekend, I wrote a list of things to blog about. I guess I was kinda drinking. By "kinda," though, I mean that I was totally inebriated. So I write this list...and its a lot of goofy shit, which is exactly what I normally write about, I know, but this stuff was even weirder than usual.

Well the weekend is over, and I'm sitting down at my computer, ready to blog like I've probably never blogged before, when I realize that I can't find my list. I look high and low, but to no avail. I feel so lost and vulnerable without my list. What am I supposed to write?!?! I'm sitting there, twiddling my thumbs and tapping my foot against a dismantled robo-turtle when suddenly the telephone rings.

"Hello?"
"Hey, its me, your mom."
"Hello mom!"
"So I was at your house this weekend. But I don't think you realized it because you were so intoxicated."
"Wait, were you dressed like a bear?"
"No."
"Oh, well either I imagined you as a bear...or someone dressed like a bear was in my house. Actually, it might have been a real bear, which explains why I can't find my picnic basket."
"Focus, son."
"Oh, sorry mom."
"I found your shopping list on the table and I thought I'd pick up a few things for you."
"My shopping list?"
"Sure. Its a little weird, but I think I found everything you wanted."

I realized in that moment, where my blog idea list had gone.

"Uh, Mom, what was on that list?"
"Well, first there was 'blueberry bridges.'"
"Oh..."
"So I had my contractor friend build me a bridge for you. Out of blueberries!"
"Uhm..."
"Then you had requested 'medieval pogs.' Well, I don't know what a pog is, so I Googled it. Then, I had to find some medieval pogs. Which was hard to do. Soooo, I went back in time, got a blacksmith to cut me some pogs from iron, and I brought them back for you!"
"Iron pogs? Cool. But..."
"And then your list said 'stuff fighting each other.' I thought that was a little vague, so I just went and convinced your Uncle Chet to fight the local police constable."
"Mom, I think..."
"The last thing on your list was the strangest? 'Gateways into the Abyss?' Thats just strange, Son. But I did find it! Oh, and look! Something is coming out of it now!
"Mom, no! Get away from the Gateway!!"

I will never make a list of blog topic ideas again. Never.