Frozen Pea Farm

Working the farm, that's a tough life. Was i able to just roll out of my cot and watch some cartoons on the television? Nope. I had to get my socks on. Then I had to put my boots on. Than I had to take my boots off because I would always forget to put pants on. So I get my pants on, and then I put my boots back on.

I can't tell you what it's like to work on some types of farms. We didn't deal with animals and we certainly didn't deal with swords (sword farms have been outlawed in this region for years). Instead, we were operating a frozen pea farm. You know, I don't know very much about science, so I can't explain to you how we were able to grow frozen peas in the summer. But we were.

So there I would be, picking frozen peas off of the frosted plants, putting them directly into little cardboard boxes to ship to the frozen foods section of your local grocer. When you go to the store and buy frozen peas, you're buying frozen peas that I picked myself.

Now, the fun part of all this is that sometimes I put little trinkets or surprises in the boxes of frozen peas. Have you ever opened a box at home, only to find there was a bullet or Ghost Dad action figure buried under your vegetables? You can thank me for that.

I don't work on the farm anymore. I couldn't even if I wanted to. Everything is all robotic and computerized now. Even the peas themselves. Don't even attempt to make sense of that.