Today, I'm writing from inside of a whale. The events that led up to my being swallowed are surprisingly unimportant. What actually is important is that I'm here now and I somehow have access to the internet. The whale has wi-fi, I guess. Whale-fi? I just ordered a sweater a few minutes ago from Sears. I hope that I get out eventually so I can enjoy wearing it. Its teal.
In other news, I'm sorry Dad, but I don't think you're going to want your boat back.
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