More Than Squeezed in Your Eye

I bought a bag of 10 lemons. And I'm thinking to myself: "Damn, I cannot wait to cut these things up into wedges and put them over fish or, perhaps, in some iced tea." They were on sale too, which is pretty in during this current economic crisis. I would've figured that lemons would be $99 a pound (or decagram, if you're in England) by now.

Anyways, I get home and I'm cutting up some lemons. And this one lemon...okay, actually there were two particular lemons...they just get up and start walking away! They had little mechanical legs and everything. I was like "Hey! What the hell, man! Get back here! I own you! I bought you at the store!" So I catch the lemons. While I'm holding them in my hands they start morphing, and before i know it, they've turned into little robots. Like Transformers, if Transformers turned into fruit.

"Sorry, human," the one lemon-bot said. "You did well in rescuing us from the grocery store. Though we don't call it the grocery store."

"Yeah," said the other lemon-bot. "We call it prison."

"Right," the first lemon said. "And now that we're free, we can finally continue our assault on the Pineapplicons."

"The what?" I asked.

"Pineapplicons. Don't tell me you don't know what they are."

"I know of pineapples," I said. "And pinecones."

"This is like neither of those. Well...maybe a little like pineapples. But also, they turn into robots. And they are our enemies."

"Oh. Well I guess you guys better go take care of that," I said. My thinking was that I might as well let them go, as I wouldn't be able to put them in iced tea.

"Thanks, bro. We'll send you a check in the mail to reimburse you for the cost of two lemons. How much do lemons cost anyways?" asked one of the lemon-bots.

"$99," I replied.

"Okay, no prob."

Suckers.